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Even Libdems Aren't Allowed Three-In-A-Bed Rent-Boy Orgies Now

Mark Oaten's Web Site: Search result for 'political future after exposure of rent boy affair'

Note to Mark Oaten's webmaster: you might wish to rename the 'Get Interactive' and 'Dispelling the Rumours' sections..

  • Oaten was just trying to show he was Libdem leadership material. Like Jeremy Thorpe, presumably.
  • The News of The World's behaviour is a disgrace. I have bought a copy in order to judge just how disgraceful it really is.
  • Oaten was the Libdems' spokesman on, amongst other things, Three-In-A-Bed Gay Prostitution. And people say MPs lack real-world experience...
  • "One young male prostitute told us: "Oaten... loved humiliation."  He must be having the time of his life right now.
  • "He's a very troubled man living a very dangerous double life" - says a rent boy shielding his own identity.
  • "The rent boy revealed how Oaten... Encouraged them to perform an unspeakable act of degradation on him". Ahh, so THAT'S what Oaten meant when he said he was in favour of 'Tough Liberalism'
  • "It was all over in minutes. He was so excited..."
  • "I saw him on television and realised he was my customer. So the next night, after our normal session, I said to him, 'I saw you on the TV last night. You're Mark Oaten, the Liberal Democrat MP. He went white with shock and said, 'It can't be me, I must have a double'."

Spoof Conservative Poster: Are you thinking what we're thinking: I guess, Winchester's in the bag

  • When I read rumours that Oaten was considering defecting to the other side, I'd assumed they meant the Conservatives. But in hindsight perhaps they meant something else.
  • I'm sure you're curious to learn what the "unspeakable act of degradation" is alleged to be. The libel laws prevent me from saying. So let me instead examine the jests of the blogosphere...
  • Get wilcox commented on Order-order.com "I think that some people may be defaming MPs anonymously on this site. After what's been written here, it's only fair that you allow Oaten to examine your log." He also comments "if Oaten tries to stand at the next election expect a shitstorm in Winchester." He also fears "Oaten will get his revenge.  For example, if I was that rent boy I'd shit myself."
  • Bloggerheads has a fan-tastic joke.
  • "Q. What do Charles Kennedy and Mark Oaten have in common?
    A. They both liked to spend their evenings getting shit-faced." - from Dodgeblogium
  • At the next election it wouldn't suprise me if rent boys in Oaten's constituency decided to dump that wanker. Or dump on him.
  • Mark Oaten's web site hasn't been updated since before the story broke. None-the-less it remains timely: "It’s been an eventful past couple of weeks... I’m looking forward to a quiet weekend with my family before making any decisions on what the future may hold."
  • After all that's happened to him, Oaten must feel like shit. Plus Ça Change.
  • Soundbite choosen for trailer by a mischievous producer of BBC Radio Two's Jeremy Vine Show, Mon 23rd January 2006:
           Jeremy Vine: "No Secrets, No Skeletons, yeah?"
           Mark Oaten: "Just a love for chocolate, I guess"
  • Are you planning a Liberal Democrat event?  If so, why not hire Mark Oaten's rent-boys! For contact details, and reviews by tubby 40-somethings click here and here or here.
  • On a completely unrelated matter, this blog wishes Mark Oaten a very happy 42nd birthday, for next month.

Spoof Conservative Poster: Are you thinking what we're thinking: Mark Oaten + Rent Boys = Personal Tragedy + Endless Jokes

Let me put the cheap jokes aside for a moment. I genuinely hope Mark Oaten can patch things up with his wife, and that he'll still be able to spend each weekend with his kids. After 13 years of marriage, and with two young children, Mrs Oaten owes her husband a second chance.

Tags: Liberal Democrats, Libdem, News Of The World, Scandal, Mark Oaten

January 21, 2006 in Libdems | Permalink


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The jokes just write themselves don't they?

Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge | 25 Jan 2006 02:59:54

So true.

Posted by: Nuke Labour | 28 Jan 2006 14:32:50

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