Help Me Win Election, Brown Asks Terrified Iraqis

The Daily Mash , Britain's answer to The Onion reports....

GORDON Brown flew into Baghdad this morning to enlist the terrified Iraqi population in his bid for re-election.

As the Tories sought to take control of the political agenda back home, Brown used his visit to the war-torn country to underline his credentials as a man who can meet the challenge of holding on to a £150,000 a year job.

'You are my electoral playthings,' the Prime Minister reminds British troops

Arriving in Baghdad, Brown said: "I have just got off an official plane in a very hot country filled with reporters from all over the world.

"Right now, David Cameron is probably in a second-rate Blackpool hotel room talking to the Daily Express about his favourite cheese.

"Leadership means being ready and willing to recognise that war, suffering and death can always be turned around and put to devastating political use."

Later today Brown will tell British troops that he will bring them home when it is in the best interests of the Labour Party.

He added: "These poor Iraqi people, being blown up every time they go to the shops, are an example to us all.

"They understand the importance of British democracy and my obsessive desire to destroy it.

"And as I stand here in Baghdad, with its occasional electricity and awful smells, I think to myself, 'I knew this would come in handy, I'm so glad I gave Tony Blair the money to do it'."

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