Congratulations, You're Buying A Porsche!

Well, actually, it's not for you. And you're helping buy six.

Oh, and did I mention you're also paying for 16 Jags, 144 Mercedes and 273 BMWs?

Don't worry, our Labour government just KNEW you'd want to contribute; so they've already docked your pay (through PAYE) to help impoverished Porsche owners.

And to think that people say our beloved leader, Gordon Brown, is out of touch!

The Car Scrappage scheme is a success! And I for one intend to congratulate our office cleaner on her selfless decision to help downtrodden Porsche buyers.

Table: Total vehicle registrations by brand through the scrappage incentive scheme.

Marque	Year-to-date
ABARTH	12
ALFA ROMEO	155
AUDI	31
BMW	273
CHEVROLET	3
CITROËN	834
DAIHATSU	134
FIAT	2,194
FORD	4,299
HONDA	1,342
HYUNDAI	4,664
ISUZU	12
JAGUAR	16
KIA	2,789
LAND ROVER	50
LEXUS	13
MAZDA	639
MERCEDES	144
MG	2
MINI	382
MITSUBISHI	420
NISSAN	2,036
PERODUA	22
PEUGEOT	1,963
PORSCHE	6
PROTON	27
RENAULT	275
SEAT	83
SKODA	122
SMART	92
SUBARU	30
SUZUKI	1,066
TOYOTA	4,468
VAUXHALL	842
VOLKSWAGEN	356
Total	29,796

Source: the Society of Motor Manufacturers and Traders, July 6th 2009 press release (MS Word format)